Thu, 23 May 2013 23:59:22 -0800WeeblyThu, 23 May 2013 20:49:14 GMThttp://www.findingyourdivinity.com/1/post/2013/05/follow-your-flow.htmlSo much has happened over the past couple of weeks. After the visit with my sister, I had some other issues come up for review. I have realized that my time in Tennessee is coming to an end. I always knew that Tennessee was a temporary stop on my journey. That is why I have never put down roots here. I was not meant to. I love my family and my friends, and I always will, but no one in my life is on my level but my brother, Adam. So everyone else is dropping out, one by one. And I am at peace with it. The past is finally being resolved and let go. I am a different woman now than I was three years ago. I am a different woman now than I was three days ago. I am constantly evolving and growing. There is only one other person on my level right now, and that is my brother Adam. I don't believe that it will always be this way. I know we'll find a place to put down roots and call home soon, but right now, I am just taking an inward journey. 

I am not going to San Diego to visit my friend. I have decided that it will not bring me any joy. She is also a part of my past, and I am letting her go. I told my brother it was his turn to choose where we go this Summer. I believe that we will be taking an outward journey after the Summer Solstice on June 21. We will end up on the West coast somewhere, I believe, because my brother wants to go there as well as I do. Where we go from there is up to us, but I have no expectations of coming back here. I am leaving the past behind and marching bravely into the unknown. And I won't be alone, so I am grateful for that. ]]>Thu, 09 May 2013 02:54:18 GMThttp://www.findingyourdivinity.com/1/post/2013/05/flow.htmlI am getting better at letting go, as I am living in the joyful flow of the now. I am not planning anything. If something is meant to happen, it will. It will be a synchronistic event that happens naturally. Life should not be forced. It should flow naturally, organically. It helps you to be more open to infinite possibilities and to accept what does unfold. If I trust that the Universe is loving and has my best interest at heart, then I will let it guide my way. If I believe that I am a divine being on my highest soul path, then I don't have anything at all to worry about. 

I realized not too long ago that I was still clinging to the past and wondering if I was doing the "right" thing by leaving my old, materialistic life and striving for a more spiritually focused one. And I very recently got a 3D slap in the face by getting a walk down memory lane, a kind of ghosts of Christmas past trip, as my mom, brother, and I went to Tinley Park to stay with my sister and her wife's pets for a few days while they went to a wedding in Wilkes Barre, PA. Just being around my sister for less than three days made me realize why we did not talk anymore. We don't have anything to talk about. I went down a completely different path than either her or my older brother when I decided to focus on my spiritual evolution. 
My sister and older brother care about money, jobs, status, the whole materialistic illusion. But I could not care less. I refuse to slave my life away for money and material possessions as the Universe provides these things for me without my having to be a debt slave. 

I also realized how grateful I am to be away from such a concentration of materialistic, 3D energy, which the area around Chicago is saturated with. The area in Tennessee where my dad and mom live is not. Tennessee has a lot of natural beauty and good energy, despite the people. A large concentration of fearful, 3D people will inundate an area with negative, toxic energy. I just did not feel like my usual self in Tinley Park. I did not want to do anything. I don't ever see myself going back there or seeing my sister again. And it does not make me sad. It is just the way it is. Different levels, one level not better than any other. I want to spiritually evolve. But there are a lot of people who are not ready for that yet. In their own time, they will find their way. I have lost the desire to be "right." I only want to be happy.
]]>Sun, 05 May 2013 19:27:48 GMThttp://www.findingyourdivinity.com/1/post/2013/05/family1.htmlFamily means something different to everyone. To me, family means something very different than what it means to the other members of my immediate family. I have a mom and a dad, two brothers, and a sister. My mom, dad, and younger brother live in Tennessee (where I live as well). My older brother lives in California and my sister lives in Tinley Park, which is where I am now. I don't have much contact with my sister and older brother, and over the past week, it has become painfully obvious why. They are not on my level. They are in a very different place than I am. They don't know me, they don't understand me, they don't think the way I do, or live the way I do. They still engage in energy dramas, and they don't understand unconditional love and acceptance. It is not good or bad. It just is.

I have made choices that have taken me down a path that has drawn me away from them. And it made me sad until now. Now I realize that it is just the way it is. It was meant to be. I don't want to go back to being the person I was before or living the life I was before. I like who I am this moment. And being around my sister and so much 3D has really brought home to me that I never did and still don't want to live a 3D life. I don't want a 3D job, 3D relationships, material possessions, none of it. It does not interest me at all. It never has and never will bring me joy. So it is time for me to stop looking backwards, to the past. It is gone. It is time for me to boldly step into the unknown, to co-create the world of love I so yearn for. I know I will be okay. In fact, I know I will be great.  
]]>Sun, 05 May 2013 03:00:07 GMThttp://www.findingyourdivinity.com/1/post/2013/05/things-to-remember.htmlDon't ever sacrifice your happiness for someone else's
Seize the moment because it is all we ever have
Don't ever give up on the power of love
Don't ever let anyone cause you to doubt yourself, not even you
Don't waste energy on judgments, you don't know what's best for anyone else
The world is not good/bad, black/white, it is only infinite shades of gray]]>Sat, 04 May 2013 03:43:47 GMThttp://www.findingyourdivinity.com/1/post/2013/05/ghosts-of-christmas-past.htmlSeems like my past is coming up for clearing...this time for good. Dreams and real life opportunities to resolve past wounding and learn lessons once and for all. I recently got presented with the opportunity to come to my sister's house near Chicago. It has been a year and a half since I last saw her. We have not been on good terms since I decided to move down to Tennessee. She did not want me to go, but I went anyway. See, my sister is very controlling, manipulative, bossy, and narcissistic. I did not believe it when my ex-boyfriend told me she was using me or my friends when they told me she did not treat me very well. I stood up for my sister because she is, well, my sister. But I started seeing her with new eyes after she told me going to Tennessee was not a good idea. And then not talking to me after I did. 

Now I am here again. And my sister is the same person now as she was then. And it is sad. But it was necessary for me to experience this. Family has always been very important to me, and I was starting to lament not having a lot of contact with mine. But now I see that it was for a very good reason. My sister, and older brother too, don't know who I am, and don't understand or care to understand my choices and the way I live my life. It is very different from their way, and it scares them. But no one should judge another. You can't possibly know what is best for someone else. I struggle with judgments myself, sometimes of others but mostly of myself. Beating myself up stops right now. I want to be neutral, accepting, and open to the Universe. The Universe is a mysterious place, and anything is possible. I want to be open to that. 

There are many issues in my life coming up for review right now, other people I need to let go of, all so that I can make room for people who really understand me and love me unconditionally, so I can go forth boldly into the unknown, co-creating a world of love. There is nothing that I want more: a world of love, joy, peace, abundance, compassion, and heart. ]]>Sun, 28 Apr 2013 19:34:27 GMThttp://www.findingyourdivinity.com/1/post/2013/04/lifes-synchronicities.htmlI didn't realize how many days it's been since I wrote in this blog. I write every day, but I have not really felt like writing for public consumption the past few days. I thought it had only been two or three at the most, so I was surprised when I saw that it was almost a week. I have been reading like a fiend the past two weeks, devouring two fiction books, Deception Point by Dan Brown and The Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. Nothing comes into your life for no reason, and books, fiction or not, are certainly no exception. So I read these books with eagerness, and I was not disappointed. These books came into my life exactly when I needed them to. 

I saw Deception Point at Books A Million a few months back. My mom was looking for a magnifying glass with a light, and we thought it was a good idea to look in a bookstore. While she was looking at the magnifying glasses, I was looking at the books. Being a reader of Dan Brown's books, I was interested to see that there was an older one I had not read. I was not, however, paying $7.99 plus tax for a book I could get much cheaper online. I had wanted to read The Discovery of Witches when it first came out in 2011. I had it on my Amazon wish list for some time before I took it off. I don't know why. 

Then a few weeks ago, my mom and I spent a few weekends going to yard sales. I really needed some clothes. Yard sales are a great way to get nice clothes for really cheap. Anyway, I saw Deception Point at one yard sale and The Discovery of Witches at another. I bought Deception Point for $.25 and got The Discovery of Witches for free. After I came home from my mom's house, I finally had time to read both of these books. Right when I needed them. 

Be neutral to what transpires in life
Be accepting of yourself and others
Be open to what unfolds
Truly going with the flow requires faith ]]>Mon, 22 Apr 2013 17:25:07 GMThttp://www.findingyourdivinity.com/1/post/2013/04/this-road-has-been-hard-and-lonely.htmlChoosing to go against what society and almost everyone in it deems as normal is a very hard and sometimes lonely road to travel. I shun money, material possessions, accumulation of wealth, and I practice loving-kindness, compassion, forgiveness, giving freely, non judgment, non attachment, and the other qualities that go with practicing a life of unconditional love and acceptance. I am not perfect, and I fall down all of the time, but I get back up and try harder. 

And it is made more difficult by the fact that no one in your life understands what you are trying to do (I am lucky as I have my younger brother, who is trying to live this way as well). Family and friends don't know what has come over you, and they don't know how to relate to you, so you find that a lot of people who were once a part of your life drop away. That can be hard at first, but you know in your heart that you are living a good life, so you carry on. You do get lonely. It seems like you are surrounded by people who just don't understand you or the world that you are fighting for with you thoughts, words, and actions: a world of unconditional love, acceptance, respect, compassion, abundance, and peace. 

But you feel better than you ever have in your life, at least when your ego is not telling you that you are doing all the wrong things. Your ego has less and less hold over you the longer you listen to your heart. You get better at doing what is right, even though it is almost never the easy thing to do. This is not an easy road. This is not a road for the faint of heart. You will not encounter a lot of people on this road, you will not accumulate wealth, you will not be showered with accolades and well-wishes. You will be looked on as different and contrary, you will often be ridiculed and misunderstood, and you will feel like you are swimming against a tsunami. 

Keep listening to your heart. It never leads you astray. Have faith in the road you have chosen. Though it is not an easy road, it is the most rewarding. You will be showered with blessings, abundance, love, and peace, and you will know in your heart you are on your highest soul path. ]]>Sun, 21 Apr 2013 20:26:01 GMThttp://www.findingyourdivinity.com/1/post/2013/04/love-is-the-only-thing-thats-real.htmlOnce you see this world for what it really is, you realize that love is the only thing that's real. The fear, hatred, prejudice, negativity, judgment, war, poverty, pain, and suffering, all of it is just an illusion. This world is like a holodeck where souls come to learn, grow, and evolve. It is not real. The love, beauty, joy, compassion, serenity, calm, abundance, and peace is what's real. It is the way things should be, and it is all the sweeter when you come back to it after having dwelled in the darkness for a while. 

Once you realize that love is all that matters, your life will transform to one of tranquility, beauty, and peace. You will see things with eyes newly opened, and you will realize that you are finally awake. You wipe the sleep from your eyes and stretch your arms up towards heaven, straining for spiritual evolution. Nothing else will seem important anymore. Material possessions, money, pleasure, all of those things are fleeting and illusory, but love lasts forever.]]>Sat, 20 Apr 2013 23:57:21 GMThttp://www.findingyourdivinity.com/1/post/2013/04/slammed.htmlI have just been slammed the past couple of days, since the 16th of April. I have had periods of intense exhaustion, to the point where crawling in bed is all I want to do. My heart has also hurt at times, where if I did not know better, I would think I was having a heart attack. Today I even started getting dizzy around 2 pm, like my gravity was shifting. This feeling lasted for a while, whereby I crawled in bed and promptly went to sleep. It has been intense. I wonder if it is related to the lightquake I read about on New Earth Daily. It must be, and I am sure we are all experiencing it in different ways.  ]]>Fri, 19 Apr 2013 17:37:11 GMThttp://www.findingyourdivinity.com/1/post/2013/04/deeply-unmotivated.htmlI have been deeply unmotivated since I got back from spending almost three weeks with my mom at her house in Lebanon. I think part of it is that I am a bit tired. I did not get to set my own schedule while I was at her house. I got up earlier than I wanted to most days, could not take naps, and was constantly on-the-go with my mom most days, totally unlike my life here in McMinnville. Also, I had to stay up late every night so that I could make time to do the things that I wanted to do for myself like call my brother, work on my blog, practice my Spanish, and things like that. 

So now that I am home, I am not constantly on-the-go, which is refreshing. But I realized that 95% of what my mom does is not necessary for her survival. It is just stuff she thinks she has to do or just does out of habit, but it ends up eating up most of her "time." No wonder she is constantly drained of energy. Most people are, and that is because they fill their day with useless distractions that use up their energy. And most people have precious little of that anyway since they don't know how to get it from the Universe. Most people are still caught up in energy dramas, trying to take energy from other people. 

So now I am asking myself the same question: what do I really need to be doing? What is necessary for my survival? I take care of my biological needs, what more do I need to be doing? Nothing. I don't need to be doing anything. I have passed the need to distract myself doing useless crap, and I believe that is where I am now, in a place of complete surrender to the nothingness. My ego cannot fool me anymore. There is precious little I need to do. ]]>