I am getting better at letting go, as I am living in the joyful flow of the now. I am not planning anything. If something is meant to happen, it will. It will be a synchronistic event that happens naturally. Life should not be forced. It should flow naturally, organically. It helps you to be more open to infinite possibilities and to accept what does unfold. If I trust that the Universe is loving and has my best interest at heart, then I will let it guide my way. If I believe that I am a divine being on my highest soul path, then I don't have anything at all to worry about.
I realized not too long ago that I was still clinging to the past and wondering if I was doing the "right" thing by leaving my old, materialistic life and striving for a more spiritually focused one. And I very recently got a 3D slap in the face by getting a walk down memory lane, a kind of ghosts of Christmas past trip, as my mom, brother, and I went to Tinley Park to stay with my sister and her wife's pets for a few days while they went to a wedding in Wilkes Barre, PA. Just being around my sister for less than three days made me realize why we did not talk anymore. We don't have anything to talk about. I went down a completely different path than either her or my older brother when I decided to focus on my spiritual evolution.
My sister and older brother care about money, jobs, status, the whole materialistic illusion. But I could not care less. I refuse to slave my life away for money and material possessions as the Universe provides these things for me without my having to be a debt slave.
I also realized how grateful I am to be away from such a concentration of materialistic, 3D energy, which the area around Chicago is saturated with. The area in Tennessee where my dad and mom live is not. Tennessee has a lot of natural beauty and good energy, despite the people. A large concentration of fearful, 3D people will inundate an area with negative, toxic energy. I just did not feel like my usual self in Tinley Park. I did not want to do anything. I don't ever see myself going back there or seeing my sister again. And it does not make me sad. It is just the way it is. Different levels, one level not better than any other. I want to spiritually evolve. But there are a lot of people who are not ready for that yet. In their own time, they will find their way. I have lost the desire to be "right." I only want to be happy.
Seems like my past is coming up for clearing...this time for good. Dreams and real life opportunities to resolve past wounding and learn lessons once and for all. I recently got presented with the opportunity to come to my sister's house near Chicago. It has been a year and a half since I last saw her. We have not been on good terms since I decided to move down to Tennessee. She did not want me to go, but I went anyway. See, my sister is very controlling, manipulative, bossy, and narcissistic. I did not believe it when my ex-boyfriend told me she was using me or my friends when they told me she did not treat me very well. I stood up for my sister because she is, well, my sister. But I started seeing her with new eyes after she told me going to Tennessee was not a good idea. And then not talking to me after I did.
Now I am here again. And my sister is the same person now as she was then. And it is sad. But it was necessary for me to experience this. Family has always been very important to me, and I was starting to lament not having a lot of contact with mine. But now I see that it was for a very good reason. My sister, and older brother too, don't know who I am, and don't understand or care to understand my choices and the way I live my life. It is very different from their way, and it scares them. But no one should judge another. You can't possibly know what is best for someone else. I struggle with judgments myself, sometimes of others but mostly of myself. Beating myself up stops right now. I want to be neutral, accepting, and open to the Universe. The Universe is a mysterious place, and anything is possible. I want to be open to that.
There are many issues in my life coming up for review right now, other people I need to let go of, all so that I can make room for people who really understand me and love me unconditionally, so I can go forth boldly into the unknown, co-creating a world of love. There is nothing that I want more: a world of love, joy, peace, abundance, compassion, and heart.
Oh how my heart aches for a world of love. A world where everyone loves and respects themselves and Creation, so they love and respect others and the world around them. A world where people understand energy dynamics and know that we don't live in self-contained bubbles. Everything we think, feel, say, and do affects not only ourselves, but the people around us, the world around us, the human collective, and even goes out into the Universe. What kind of energy are you putting out? Most people are not even aware that they are putting out serious negativity, fear, self-loathing, judgment, and in general a very chaotic, uncomfortable energy. I don't even want to be around it, which is why 3D can be very painful sometimes. After the Summer Solstice (6.21.13), I am leaving 3D for good and living in a world of love, a world built on the foundation of unconditional love, acceptance, respect for Creation-for its brilliance and diversity, abundance, peace, joy, and everything that is good and beautiful about the world and about being human.
I know I have gone on some journeys the past couple of years. My brother and I have driven to South Dakota and California (twice) since I moved down here in June 2010. But I am feeling restless again, like I need to do something, go somewhere. At first I thought about going to Costa Rica to teach English. So I started learning Spanish. But the more I researched and imagined myself there, I decided that Costa Rica was not for me. I also briefly thought about Ecuador or Panama. But it just did not seem to fit. Then recently, my brother and I started talking about doing a big hike, something like the Appalachian Trail. So I did some research on that, but it did not seem like the right fit either.
Then I started contemplating walking trails in Europe that I would like to hike, like the Via Alpina, or there are trails all over the British Isles, and there is a spiritual pilgrimage, mostly in Spain, called El Camino de Santiago. I have wanted to do this for years, but it only popped into my head again when my brother and I started talking about going on a spiritual walk. We need to get away from 3D and just be. And then I got excited when I realized I was already learning Spanish, so it seems so far to be a good fit. Also, I have been thinking for a few months now that I should leave the country. I don't know why, it is just a thought that popped into my head, just like the thought to go on a spiritual walk.
I am open, so I am looking for synchronicities. As with all things, I will let the Universe guide my way. I want to go on a spiritual walk, but it does not have to be El Camino de Santiago. There is still a real possibility that we will find a trail here in the US. We are going to visit a friend of mine in San Diego in July, so we are going to be in California where there are a plethora of walking trails and state and national parks. As for leaving the country, that could also transpire in an infinite array of possibilities. I know the Universe will provide for me, and my Higher Self will ensure that I get the opportunities to do what I incarnated here to do, but also do things that bring me joy.
Spring is coming...a time of rebirth
I love Spring. It is one of my favorite times of the year. I also like Fall. Summer can be quite nice as well. Winter is my least favorite time of the year because I am not a big fan of cold or snow, which we have had a surprising amount of in TN since I moved down here.
Spring is a time of rebirth. It is a time when Mother Nature awakens from her slumber and bursts forth with new growth. A kaleidoscope of colors burst forth out of the brown ground, animals awaken from their long Winter's nap, the Sun shines more brightly and warms the Earth from the cold.
Spring also represents renewal for humanity. I believe this Spring is going to be a powerful one. It is going to blast open yet another energetic gateway to the next dimension. I believe that's what the significance has been of these prophesied days. We are living in a time where if you are energetically ready, you can pop over to the New Earth when these gates open. You can open them anytime, of course, with your heart, but I believe this time is so significant because we are being given such an energetic boost by the Universe. These days are opportunities for many people to transcend 3D. You don't have to be a monk on a mountaintop, you can just be a good, loving, open-hearted person.
This time is everyone's chance for Heaven on Earth. It is not for a select, chosen few. It is for anyone who earnestly seeks internal transformation, for people who yearn for spiritual evolution. It is a time for love. This Spring is a magical time. The doorway to Heaven on Earth, to Paradise will open wide for any who are ready to walk through. Oh, how I am ready to walk through that door. I hope you are too. Come, let's walk through together. Everyone is welcome.
My brother and I were talking today about the positive versus the negative path to God-self-realization, and my brother said something that made logical sense but that I had never thought of before. Not only is there a negative service to self path but a positive service to self path too, and consequently there is a negative service to others path as well as the positive service to others path.
Positive Path + Service to self -------------------- Service to others (LOVE; Self-love)
Negative Path - Service to self -------------------- Service to others (FEAR; Lack of self-love)
On the positive service to self path, you realize that you have control only over yourself. You strive to be a good person with positive thoughts, words, and actions. You realize inner work is the most powerful and transformative. You love yourself and others unconditionally.
On the positive service to others path, you derive joy from helping others. You strive to help by teaching, healing, etc. You want to help people feel love and see the light. You want to spread joy and love. You have love for yourself and others.
On the negative service to self path, you strive to accumulate only for yourself. You don't see value in anyone, least of all yourself, but your fear of not being loved drives you to commit all manner of heinous acts against others. You are desperately trying to fill the void within yourself.
On the negative service to others path, you give of yourself to others because that is the only way you believe you'll get love in return. You don't really know what love is, however, as you do not love yourself. You don't help people because you want to; you help people to try and get them to love you. You are desperately trying to fill the void within yourself.
God-self-realization to me means realizing that you, though you are an individuated, holographic representation of God, are still God. When the light shines on you, you are in that moment God-realized. It is totally esoteric and mind-bending, and on an intellectual level, I understand it. But what it takes to really "feel" this and become God-self-realized, I don't know. I believe this is what people mean when they say they became Enlightened. I believe few people have truly become Enlightened in 3D, not when there are 12 dimensions in this Universe, and it's not until 12D you reach God-self-realization.
I found a great YouTube video today that went over the 12 Universal Laws
. How can you truly navigate the Universe if you don't know the laws? I have never seen them all before in one place.
01) The Law of Oneness - We are all interconnected. You cannot think, say, or do anything without affecting others and the Universe of which you are a part. A more fundamental aspect of this is that you are an individuated, holographic representation of God.
02) The Law of Vibration - Everything moves, vibrates, and travels in circular patterns.
03) The Law of Action - We must align our actions with our thoughts and words.
04) The Law of Correspondence - As above, so below. The physical laws of the world mirror corresponding principles in the etheric (or metaphysical).
05) The Law of Cause & Effect- We reap what we sow.
06) The Law of Compensation - Your good deeds are rewarded by the Universe. No good deed goes unrewarded just as no bad deed goes unpunished.
07) The Law of Attraction - We bring people, things, events into our lives with the energies we put out. Positive energies yield positivity and negative energies yield negativity.
08) The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy - People have the power within themselves to change their lives. Higher vibrations consume and transform lower ones.
09) The Law of Relativity - Each person encounters a series of tests of initiation for the purpose of strengthening the light within. Everyone's path is different; it is all relative.
10) The Law of Polarity - Everything is on a continuum and has an opposite.
11) The Law of Rhythm - Everything vibrates and moves to certain rhythms. These rhythms establish seasons, cycles, stages of development, and patterns. Each cycle reflects the regularity of God's Universe.
12) The Law of Gender - Everything has its masculine (yang) and feminine principles (yin), and these are the basis for all creation. These energies must be balanced.
There are 21 sub-laws of the Universe that are governed by the Higher Self. These 21 sub-laws are actually human characteristics that relate to the Universal Laws:
01) Aspiration to a Higher Power
21) Unconditional Love
These Universal Laws and sub-laws all build upon each other, and together, make logical, rational sense. If you are God, then everything you do really just affects you. Be kind to yourself as well as others, because in the end, we are all individuated aspects of God. Love yourself and others because you are God.
My mom came and got my brother and me yesterday so we could spend some time with her. Well, when she got to our apartment, I started getting testy. My brother noticed that I was tense and pointed it out to me. I took some deep breaths and got back to my calm frequency. Well, a little later, my brother, dad, and mom went to Walmart to do some grocery shopping. I stayed home to eat breakfast and finish getting ready to go. It was when I was ready and had some quiet time that I realized something: I take on the energy of my surroundings. It is hard because most of the energy I encounter is negative, fearful, and chaotic. Before I was in the positive, calm, and loving place that I am in now, I sometimes magnified the negative energy. Those were the times I was extremely terrifying. Most of the time I was able to at least neutralize it, but that was so exhausting to me before. No wonder I have fought depression and exhaustion my entire life! Now, though, I am actually transmuting the negative energy to positive, loving, and calm energy.
This is why I am so mentally/emotionally strong, and why I give off a strong aura. I have to be able to withstand the onslaught of energy. This is also why I am so empathic and mothering. This is why I love nature, and why my body was tingling with energy 24/7 in Sedona. I take in the energy of my surroundings, so in Sedona, I was hoovering up all of that natural energy. I would have popped over to the next dimension if we had stayed for a few more days. Sedona*
actually kicked us out.
I am here to help people, as many people as I can. I am in Tennessee right now for many reasons, and I believe one of them is to transmute the energy here. There is a lot of natural beauty/energy, but there is also a lot of negative energy being put out by all of the people here. So I can draw on the natural energy to help me transmute the negative energy coming from people.
Yesterday I spent some time with a couple my mom knows. They are the power of attorney for a friend of my mom's, and they are dealing with some tough issues right now as the woman they are power of attorney for is now in an assisted living facility and is rapidly deteriorating in health. Before we even left the house they are staying in, I felt this deep sense of guilt. I made the mistake of thinking it was mine, and wondering why I was feeling it. Bottom line, though, is I have realized that it does not matter whether the negative energy I am picking up on is mine or someone else's. It needs to be transmuted into positive energy. I need to stop analyzing it and just transmute it and let it go.
I realize that I am here in Tennessee for a reason. And as hard as it is for me to be around people sometimes, I feel compelled now to go out and be around as many people as possible. The Universe gave me some time to find my center, and now that I have, it is time to get back out there and do some good. Every time I want to run away to a secluded island or a monastery or cave high in the Himalayas, I have to remember my gift and how it helps people. Taking on people's negative energy and transmuting it into positive energy is like rummaging through someone's travel backpack and taking out the heaviest items that they are carrying around with them so their burden is lighter. What an amazing thing to do! I am honored and blessed with such an opportunity to assist my fellow souls. We are all part of the One, and we're in this together. Whether I am helping others or myself, it makes no difference.*If you want to read about my trip to Sedona, please go here and scroll down to the section called "Trip to Sedona."
"Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly to get it started
."-- Zig Ziglar
This is one of the great quotes I came across over the past few days. And it sums up how I feel now about living. Live in the present moment, don't have any expectations, judgments, beliefs, or attachments; but you can envision things for yourself, work for goals. You just have to be prepared for the Universe to throw obstacles in your joyful flow of the now, and what that is telling you is that there is something better for you. If you do encounter an obstacle, you smile, you nod, and you take a path around the obstacle. Maybe it takes you back to the same road you were on, maybe it takes you to a different road, but if you trust in yourself and the Universe, you'll know that there is something better for you waiting on the other side.
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there
."-- Ludwig Wittgenstein
This one might as well have been the Universe speaking directly to me. I feel like I am on my highest soul path, but I have felt like I am in some kind of limbo. I like to use the analogy of being in a lock on a canal. You have to wait for the water level to get higher where you are before the gates open and you can continue on your journey. Well, my brother said that we have to raise the water level ourselves, and the truth of those words rang like a bell in my ears. So now I am even more mindful of making the most of my present moments and striving to live with even more joy. I have this website, which brings me a lot of joy. I also have my poetry, photography, and now I am learning Spanish
(creativity and learning bring me lots of joy). Of course, I have my family and friends, and being a good daughter, sister, and friend is very important to me and brings me immeasurable joy. Learning how to be joyful in the moment, wherever I am and whatever I am doing, is key to raising the water level in the lock on the canal so the gates will open, allowing me to continue on my journey.
I know this road leads somewhere beautiful
I got the rest of my answers over the last three days.
Question #5: Is there going to be some kind of shift/split/evolution of consciousness this year? In my current lifetime?
Answer: Yes, I can feel it in my bones, my cells. Spiritual evolution is why I came down here - to help facilitate it for humanity. Working on myself is paramount. Several dates pop out, but what their significance is I don't know:
March 20, 2013 - Spring Equinox
June 18, 2013 - 3 years since I moved here to TN
June 20, 2013 - Summer Solstice
Aug. 16, 2013 - Aug. 2013 came from a comment on David Wilcock's website
; I added the day because it just seemed to fit my pattern
Sept. 22, 2013 - Fall Equinox
Sept. 27, 2013 - My birthday
Maybe dates are benchmarks, energetic gateways that we can take advantage of if ready. They can provide you with an energetic boost to the next level.
Question #6: Am I doing what I incarnated here to do?
Answer: Yes and no. I am on my highest soul path, but my biggest role to play is yet to come. I should keep learning and growing. Be who I am. Be present. Be aware.
I feel "old" in terms of my soul, like I've been around the Cosmos a few times. I feel like I am not here to experience the third dimension but am here to learn and spiritually evolve, and the Universe will keep presenting me with opportunities suited to my energetic level. Learning is key, observing, noticing the details, taking note - all of these things come to mind when I think about why I incarnated here.
Question #7: What piece of information am I missing that will help propel me forward out of this limbo loop?
Answer: Acceptance of myself and the choices that I have made to get me to this present moment. I would not do one thing differently because I like who I am. I am being the person I came here to be. IT IS TIME TO BE LOVE!
I have also been getting messages from the Universe in song. You never know where your information will come from so be open to everything!