I have to deal with every moment, every day in a unique way. I like change, and I like adventure. So I am beginning to appreciate what an adventure third density really is! It is full of high drama and action and mystery. You never know what to expect out of anyone around you. You never know what the day is going to bring when you are living amongst mind/body/spirit complexes who are energy tornadoes. An energy tornado was a term I originally coined for my dad whose energy is a chaotic whirl around him. He sucks up energy too just like a tornado. He is not alone. Most people I encounter are like this. I could speculate on why mind/body/spirit complexes here on Earth got so far off track of their spiritual development, but the truth is, I don't really know. All I can do is give unconditional love and acceptance of other-selves for who they are regardless and hope that they find their higher soul path. 

I know I have had many bones to pick with so-called "enlightened" people lately, and this is another one. How can you love and accept someone unconditionally but still try to impose your Golden Age ideas on them? Believe it or not, and I have had a really hard time with this one myself, many people don't seem to be ready for or even want a Golden Age. Many people don't accept the idea that we are all divine. Many people don't want to and aren't ready to love everyone unconditionally. Many people seem like they are spiritual children, and they really need to "grow-up" before they are ready to be co-Creators. 

Now I understand why enlightenment is supposed to be so hard. You have to have the will to learn and grow and evolve and change and re-think your ideas and values every moment. Enlightenment is not something that you just get in a moment. But I am not afraid for anyone on December 21, 2012. We are all divine, and we will all get to the same place eventually--back to the One Creator. Just as the Creator is infinite, so too are our experiences of It and our paths to It. When we impose our ideas on anyone (good intentions or not), we are imposing expectations and judgments upon them. 

Here are some words of wisdom from Ra: 
It is important to allow each seeker to enlighten itself rather than for any messenger to attempt in language to teach/learn for the entity, thus being teach/learner and learn/teacher. 

It is absolutely necessary that an entity consciously realize it does not understand in order for it to be harvestable. Understanding is not of this density [third density].

Each mind/body/spirit complex is an unique portion of the one Creator.

There is no right or wrong in the eyes of God. There is only unity. Embrace the unity. As I really grasp it and take it to heart, I lose any urge to judge or have expectations or tell someone what they should or should not be doing, thinking, or saying. We would all do better to practice this unconditional love of other-selves and ourselves. Just as our other-selves are enough, so are we, and we should embrace ourselves as unique aspects of the Creator too. I often have expectations for myself, and judge my thoughts, words, and actions as harshly as anyone else ever could. When each of us is ready to move on from third density, we will, and thereby everyone will have their Golden Age when they are ready for it. 

I am reading The Law of One: The Ra Material again (this is my second time), and I am getting so many new insights into myself. I was pretty certain I was a Wanderer after I read Dolores Cannon's book The Three Waves of Volunteers and the New Earth. But I knew I was one after reading The Law of One for the first time. In a way, I am sorry I only recently discovered this book. But I know that the Universe only gives us information as we are ready to receive it, so I was not ready until now. This book has been the only book that has resonated with me 100%. I feel it is as undistorted a spiritual text as we are ever going to get here on this current third density Earth. I really feel like Ra was coming from a place of love and acceptance of all other-selves and genuinely wanted to help people. I have been an outsider of the 3D experience my whole life, always looking on from the sidelines, wondering why everything seemed so "wrong" here. Always wondering why I was different. Knowing what I am has made a world of difference and explains why my life played out the way it did. I was not supposed to get caught up in the 3D experience. I already had my 3D experiences, 4D, and maybe even 5D. Ra said most Wanderers are from 6D. 

Questioner: You spoke of Wanderers. Who are Wanderers? Where do they come from?
Ra: I am Ra. Imagine, if you will, the sands of your shores. As countless as the grains of sand are the sources of intelligent infinity. When a social memory complex has achieved its complete understanding of its desire, it may conclude that its desire is service to others with the distortion towards reaching their hand, figuratively, to any entities who call for aid. These entities whom you may call the Brothers and Sisters of Sorrow move toward this calling of sorrow. These entities are from all reaches of the infinite creation and are bound together by the desire to serve in this distortion.

Questioner: How many of them are incarnate on Earth now?
Ra: I am Ra. The number is approximate due to an heavy influx of those birthed at this time due to an intensive need to lighten the planetary vibration and thus aid in harvest. The number approaches sixty-five million.

Questioner: Are most of these from the fourth density? Or what density do they come from?
Ra: I am Ra. Few there are of fourth density. The largest number of Wanderers, as you call them, are of the sixth density. The desire to serve must be distorted towards a great deal of purity of mind and what you may call foolhardiness or bravery, depending upon your distortion complex judgment. The challenge/danger of the Wanderer is that it will forget its mission, become karmically involved, and thus be swept into the maelstrom of which it had incarnated to avert destruction. 

Questioner: What could one of these entities do to become karmically involved? Could you give an example of that?
Ra: I am Ra. An entity which acts in a consciously unloving manner in action with other beings can become karmically involved.

Questioner: Do many of these Wanderers have physical ailments in this third-density situation?
Ra: I am Ra. Due to the extreme variance between the vibratory distortions of third density and those of the more dense densities, if you will, Wanderers have as a general rule some form of handicap, difficulty, or feeling of alienation which is severe. The most common of these difficulties are alienation, the reaction against the planetary vibration by personality
disorders, as you would call them, and body complex ailments indicating difficulty in adjustment to the planetary vibrations such as allergies, as you would call them.

How do you deal with the feelings of not belonging and alienation? On top of feeling the intense pain and suffering, in addition to the fear and lostness of the people on this planet at this time. And Mother Earth's agony too. And then I feel this intense responsibility to do something to help, though what that something is, I really don't know for sure. I am struggling with depression on a near daily basis these days, while trying desperately to "be the change I want to see in the world." It is an epic battle playing out almost exclusively in my head. But I will valiantly march on because I know I will win in the end. Or hope that I do. Is there anyone out there feeling this way too? Wanderer is an apt term considering that is an exact description of how I feel.  

Images haunt my brain
I want off
This runaway train
I am going insane
Each day bringing me
Closer to the abyss of despair
Too sad to shed any tears
Too busy trying to beat back
The rising tide of my fears
Demons rising out of the mist
I urgently clench my fists
Tired of running
I turn and face the army
I will no longer
Give them the power to harm me
My body stands erect
My mind goes quiet
Silent, still
Nothing moves, breathes
The only movement
Is the movement of my will
It is churning with strength
With justice, passion, and determination
To win this war
To be my highest self
To be the person
I know I can be
Facing the demons
Is the only option for me
I won't give in
To the insanity
I won't let them win
I am the master
Of my destiny 

This book is not for anyone but the serious spiritual student. It is not an easy read, and Ra says many things that linger in the mind long after you have stopped reading. I am overwhelmed at times with the information, but I have to remind myself time and again that the veil cannot be removed in third density (3D). It can be permeated somewhat, but not removed. It is not supposed to be. The veil is part of the experience. Plus, even Ra, a sixth density (6D) social memory complex says that they do not know or understand everything either. And that is something else I have to remind myself over and over. I am a god, but not the God, the Source of All That Is. I am a portion of God, and as I travel up the ladder of consciousness, I will become more and more aware of the One as I progress but do not and cannot know everything as I am. I am pretty sure my mind would explode. Also, I sometimes forget to take care of my body complex. I focus on the mind and spirit, but I neglect myself physically. You cannot and should not neglect your body. It is your link with this 3D experience. I am going to go for a long walk later. I will meditate on what I have read.