This is something I lose sight of every once in awhile, and the disastrous results are immediate. Everything in balance. That is a must. Your physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual energetic bodies must be in balance. Your Higher aspects and your current dimensional aspects (3D) must be in balance. Your mind (wisdom) and heart (love) must be in balance. Love for yourself and your love for other selves must be in balance. It is a tightrope walk, but when you slip even a little, it is obvious, so it is easy to feel when you need to correct and get back in balance. 

It is okay to slip. I used to beat myself up, but I don't any longer. I am striving every moment to be a good person, so I am truly doing my best. That is good enough for me. My brother and I were talking this morning, and he wonders if perhaps this is our first time in duality. Not 3D, but in 3D duality. We feel like very old souls, so maybe we lived in a Universe where there was no duality. Who knows? We feel alien here. And there are things that we have such a hard time wrapping our minds around, things like war, polluting the Earth, materialism, hatred, prejudice, mindlessness, greed. I understand how these dark concepts could help souls evolve and grow towards the light, but I don't relate to them. I don't know how to do 3D duality, and frankly, I don't ever want to. My heart and soul yearn so strongly for freedom from this darkness. 

If I came here to help, I am happy to do so, but I am at a point of consciousness now that this duality is painful to me. All of the chaotic, tornado-like energy is a lot to bear for me. My empathic nature only grows stronger with my continuing spiritual evolution. Spiritual evolution is what I am striving for, because I believe that is the best way to not only help myself but all other selves as well. I truly accept that unconditional love and acceptance is the best way to help an other self. I cannot know another's path. Other selves could be doing exactly what they incarnated here to do. I am not going to try to force my "help" or "healing" on anyone. The only person you have any control over is yourself, and concentrating on your internal transformation is the most powerful thing you can do, not only for yourself but others.   

This is the hardest thing in the world to achieve. Balance. To me balance is aligning your thoughts, words, and actions with your truth, being who you are authentically each moment. I am getting so much better at this, but it is still hard at times. There are times when my thoughts are not as I wish them to be, but I am getting better about stopping negative thoughts in their tracks and replacing them with something along the lines of "it is none of my business." Because most of anything I think of these days that is inappropriate is when I think about what someone could/should do to improve their life. I have got to stop. People all have their own journeys. Their own guides/guardians/angels. I just need to intend that everyone is on their highest soul path. That is all. Their path. It is not mine. I have my own path to take. I am struggling with this, but I will prevail. It is a lesson I must learn, sooner rather than later. Time is running out for lessons. Dec. 21 is a month away. 

It has been quite a few weeks for me. My mom came to pick me up on the 8th to go to Lebanon to watch her house for a week while her and Barry went to Decatur. Then after they got back, I was supposed to move in with Gayle, a friend of my mom's who needed someone to stay with her to help her out a bit and to keep her company. Well, I had moved all of my stuff to Lebanon. Most of it was in the back of my mom's car. When she got back, she was going to take me over to Gayle's house. But she called Gayle, and she said that she was having second thoughts about me moving in. I should have taken that as a sign from the Universe. I don't always hear the Universe when she is trying to warn me away from a bad choice. My mom ended up going over with my cousin Charlotte to talk to Gayle, and I ended up moving in a week after my mom got back. And it turned out to be WAY MORE than I had bargained for. Her animals had fleas, and at least one of her cats had worms. Her house was beyond unorganized. It was unsanitary. There was no room for me to put any food in her refrigerator/freezer or pantry, and she wanted constant attention. Plus, I would tell her something, and ten minutes later, she had completely forgotten what I had just told her. Apparently her doctor had diagnosed her with dementia. She was even taking pills for it. I don't know how my mom and Charlotte could have missed all of this. But somehow they had. 

So four days after I moved in, I moved out and came back here to McMinnville. And you know what? I am glad to be home. This is my home. You can be happy anywhere, just like you can be miserable anywhere. It has nothing to do with your external surroundings. It is your internal state that determines whether you are happy or not. Whether I focus on the positive or concentrate on the negative. I really seemed not to be learning that lesson. The trip out to San Francisco had not been enough of a wake up call, apparently. Home is truly where the heart is, and your heart is you. You are your home. I am now going to enjoy where I am right now. I can have joy anywhere, doing anything. It is all a matter of my perspective. Physical activity helps me stay balanced as well. 

While we are in 3D, we are physical beings. But we are also mental/emotional beings, as well as spiritual beings, and you can't neglect any of your energy layers. They are all integral to your functioning optimally. The most important layer is your spiritual/etheric layer, and it informs every other layer. Neglect your spiritual development to your detriment. My mom is a very good example of this. She is literally falling apart. And instead of addressing her disconnection from God, the Source of All That Is, she keeps looking for physical fixes to her problems. Gluten intolerance, rosacea, shoulder pain, hip problems, lactose intolerance, etc. Addressing the physical is not helping; in fact, she is getting worse, as more problems develop. I have tried to help her, but I have come to realize that most people really don't understand what I am saying. People cannot understand concepts beyond their level of understanding, so when you are talking about concepts beyond 3D, 3D people are not going to consciously understand what you are saying. Deep down in their subconscious they hear what you are saying, and there is a possibility that they will consciously realize your words someday, but you may never know. 

I will keep sharing my truth with people, loving people for their uniqueness, and hoping for a better world for everyone. I know I am going to a better world very soon, but I really hope and pray that everyone finds their soul path and allows their Higher Selves to guide them. 3D is a very unique and dramatic experience for a soul. It is really like a soap opera (which Adam got me watching for two days), with all of the drama, intrigue, people lying, cheating, stealing, and stabbing people in the back, not even aware most of the time why they are doing what they are doing, just completely helpless to their motivations, expectations, judgments, etc. It is funny and sad at the same time. That is another thing about 3D; it is a series of paradoxes. 3D is a tightrope walk, a balancing act, a battle of will. I have grown and learned so much, but I am ready for the next step in my evolution. Dec. 21, 2012 is less than seven months away. I think there is going to be a blast of energy that opens up a portal for people who are ready to move on. Maybe it will be in our heads, like our pineal glands opening up, or an actual doorway like a micro wormhole in spacetime opening up. But whatever it is, I am at peace. Everyone will get where they need to go. We are all energy. There is no need to fear what is coming.